I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
