i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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