whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
