Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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