birth control should be required to get into college
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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