Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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