He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
