I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
