WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
