why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
