I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
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