I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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