so explain again why im purple
no
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
