i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
