I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
