Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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