well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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