I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
