Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
