i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
