my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
false alarm. still invincible.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
