I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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