Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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