I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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