Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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