Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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