Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
