so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
i think i just lost a toe
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
