you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize