cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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