your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The air was thick with penises
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
