when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
