Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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