Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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