i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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