Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
