ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
