Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
