Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
