I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
