I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
