I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
