ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
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