3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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