just come out here and I will go home with you...
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
