I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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