I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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