So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
