He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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