We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
