Soap is not a condiment
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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