Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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