Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
