i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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