Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
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Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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