What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
