Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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