I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
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We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
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I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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