This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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