i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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