i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize