I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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